‘Weeds’: The big reveal

9 11 2010

Here we are, less than a week from the season six finale. I had to stop and look up the news from September: Weeds was renewed, right? (Of course it was.) So, even though the preview for next week looks intense, Nancy will survive it.

I found myself really interested in Silas’s dilemma, and while I don’t want him to stay behind, I am glad that he found his real dad. This whole paternity kerfuffle is the kind of thing a show employs in its sixth season, so while it seems kind of random, I don’t mind it that much. Silas hasn’t ever fit in completely with the family, and he’s never been happy. It’s possible the writers planned this from the start, too. The father (who I called California Boy in my last post—I guess his name is Lars) seems pretty cool, at least, and not at all afraid of being a dad. I keep waiting for something bad to happen with him, though. Hunter Parrish should be on the show next season, though, so maybe none of the Botwins make it to Copenhagen. What would Nancy do there, anyway?

Doug is sadly pathetic. I’m glad Dana told him where to stick it, but I felt bad for him at the same time.

And I almost can’t believe Andy had someone chop a penis off of a cadaver. He’s pretty much my favorite character.

Maybe I missed it, but I’m not sure how the journalist, Vaughn, is connected to Esteban. Was that explained? Was Vaughn talking to Esteban when he said “I found her” at the end of the episode before this one? Either way, Nancy is sure in trouble.

Talk to you after next week’s finale!


‘Weeds’: a biology lesson

27 10 2010

I’ve not covered several episodes of Weeds this month—October has been nuts! Nancy and the crew have purchased and traded an amusingly-painted RV, been run out of town, sold weed at a kids’ concert, been to a pediatrician, and continued to evade detection.

But Nancy made the mistake of returning to her home town, a place where people know her—and giving Shane and Silas a chance to snoop around. Is Judah Silas’s dad, or is it really Nancy’s California-boy high school sweetheart?

Yes, Silas, blonde hair can skip a generation. A quick lesson in genetics (skip this if you don’t care; it probably isn’t new to you): Blonde hair is the result of two recessive genes. Recessive genes aren’t expressed unless a person gets one from each parent. Silas is blonde, so he got one from Nancy and one from whomever his father is (Judah or California boy). Nancy is a brunette with a blonde kid, so she has one recessive blonde gene from one parent and one dominant brunette gene from the other. She passed her recessive blonde gene on to Silas but the dominant brunette gene to Shane (and Stevie). If Judah had blonde people in his family, he could have passed on a recessive gene and therefore fathered Silas. If not, daddy dearest is California boy. In short, two brunettes can have blonde kids if there are blonde genes in their heritage, but two blondes cannot have brunette kids.

To illustrate, we have Punnett squares on Post-It Notes.

Punnett square 1: Nancy and Judah, if Judah has a recessive gene (yes, I forgot to put the “B” on the top and “b” on the bottom on Judah’s side. Sorry about that.)

Punnett square 2: Nancy and California Boy

Punnett square 3: Nancy and Judah, if Judah does NOT have a recessive gene

You probably knew all of that—it’s pretty simple bio. Now Silas needs to learn it!

Anyway, the guy Nancy met in the cemetery is, of course, trouble. He’ll sic the FBI (or Esteban) on Nancy and the kids soon, but for now, let’s just ponder this new “Silas’s daddy” mystery, conveniently dropped into the plot because Weeds is running out of steam. The we’re-on-the-run-but-oh-no-someone-spotted-us storyline is tired and needs to nap until next Monday.

Richard Dreyfuss kind of rocks, even if his character is creepy.

Contest Winner Announced! (And TV snippets for the week.)

9 10 2010

(Did I not post this already? I could have sworn I did, but then it wasn’t there. Sorry, everyone…!)

I took this week off from blogging due to a death in the family, but the good news is that the time off gave me a chance to assemble judges and decide the winner for what I have affectionately come to call the Sookie Book Limerick Contest. The prize, as you know, is an autographed hardcover copy of Dead in the Family. There’s only one book, but the second place limerick will be published here as well.

The entries were judged on five criteria: originality, creativity, humor, adherence to limerick form, and poetic rhythm. The rhythm and adherence to form weighed heavily on the judges’ decision, since there were several original, creative limericks that made us laugh out loud.

The winner is Lauren from Texas:

There once was a vampire named Eric,
Who some would find most esoteric,
But it’s without his clothes
When he’s banging some hoes,
We see his assets are perfect genetics.

And our honorable mention is Ryan from Massachusetts:

The kings offer came with a wink
Fairy blood he wanted to drink
Sookie scoffed at his proposal
poured Talbot in the disposal
Now poor Russell has sex with the sink

Congratulations, Lauren and Ryan! And thank you to everyone who entered. Your limericks were great.

And now, since I skipped major blog posts this week, I’ll give you some little snippets on my impressions:

Dexter: I’m kind of happy that Astor and Cody decided to live with their grandparents—it frees Dexter up for more serial killer hijinks! I’m really loving this season so far.

Weeds: The butter-eating contest made me gag, for real. I feel bad that the Botwins couldn’t actually claim their prize, but that would have made life too easy. Still not happy with this boring season.

America’s Next Top Model: Catfights galore. Things should calm down some now that Lexie is out, but I’m sad about it because I liked her (and Rhianna, who was sent home last week) and I don’t really like Kacey. But Lexie’s ousting was a long time coming, really. I loved this week’s photoshoot, and my fave Ann won top photo for the fourth week in a row—a Top Model first!

I will write a full Survivor post once things settle down here. Check back a little later.

Sorry, Showtime fans. Here are your ‘Weeds’ and ‘Dexter’ posts.

29 09 2010

Things have been a little crazy lately at home and school, and with family (just, you know, my whole life), so my TV-watching has taken a bit of a backseat. It just means I might not be as timely (or as lengthy!) as you’ve come to expect. Just stick with me until May, when I finish grad school—it should get better then.

Dexter premiered on Sunday. Last season’s finale left me with my mouth hanging open, as I’m sure you can understand, so the premiere was a welcome diversion from real life. I thought for most of the hour that Dexter might actually leave Miami and start a new life elsewhere, and it was really touching to see his surprisingly emotional reaction to Rita’s death. I’m becoming more and more convinced that our favorite sociopath/serial killer is growing a heart, even if it is still three sizes too small.

I'll miss Rita and scenes like this one.

When he murdered that creep in the dingy bathroom, I thought it was all over. Surely, without the plastic drop cloth and rubber gloves, there’s some evidence floating around somewhere. But based on the season preview, the danger lies in Quinn discovering that Dexter was pretending to be Kyle. I’m curious to see if they come back to the murder, because if not, I’ll cry “loose thread”! (You know, kind of like crying wolf….) And Quinn and Deb’s sexy grief therapy—not sure about that, but it’s fun.

In any case, I’m glad Dexter stuck around. A whole new cast would be kind of hard to get used to at this point!

In sharp contrast, Weeds disappointed me again this week. I was all set for a few weeks of a terrified Nancy, Esteban showing up, possibly a dead or injured child—but no. A crossbow to the leg, some scary Shane eyes, and spitballs took care of everything, and now Nancy and the kids (Andy and Doug included) are back on the run. I did like Nancy’s lioness speech at the end, but the preview for next week looks boring except for the fact that the cops/Child Protective Services/whatever are now looking for the Botwins/Newmans, too. I mean, I love amusement park rides, but I can go to the park myself. I want drama! Terror! Danger! And this season is just not delivering.

I’ll continue to watch, because this show’s first few seasons cemented it in my mind as one of the Greatest Shows Ever. But I’m not particularly happy with the boring that is this season; aside from some hilarious one-liners, I remain relatively unimpressed.

Just a note: Only THREE MORE DAYS to submit your entry to the Sookie Book Limerick Contest!

‘Weeds’: Nathalie and the Newmans, finally up shit’s creek

21 09 2010

Yay! Weeds is getting exciting! It’s also been picked up for a seventh season—huzzah! So, all those Mary-Louise-Parker-is-leaving-Weeds rumors can stop now, okay? Thank you, TV-verse.

At least Nancy finally set the record straight with Andy. What I took away from it is that Nancy won’t fuck Andy because (get ready for a string of awesome quotes) her vagina is a “penis flytrap,” she’s “Dr. Ke-vagian,” and a succubus, but she doesn’t want him to leave her and the kids alone. All her men wind up dead, and she likes Andy too much to have that happen. It was a sweet scene for them, in their own weird sort of way. I love both their characters so much.

Of all the big shit that happened this week, Doug’s religious experience was probably my favorite. I’m still not positive why OnStar would call Andy’s cell phone looking for Shane (except, maybe, that when Andy registered the car in Shane’s name, he gave them his own cell phone number?), but the call leading Cesar and Ignacio to Seattle saved Doug’s life, at least for now. And he’s convinced he’s God’s chosen one due to the phone call miracle, which is a better route for Doug than falling in love with illegal immigrants and masturbating with a noose around his neck. Just sayin’.

The rest of them certainly aren’t getting any help from the Lord above, though. After the cops boot the van due to a shit-ton of unpaid parking tickets tied to the stolen plates, Nancy knows they’re in trouble. Add in an altercation with her coworker Latrice (played by the actress who was Miss Jeanette in True Blood, as my boyfriend pointed out) over stolen drug money, Shane’s “mommy group” calling Child Protective Services after Andy backs out of having sex with one of them, and Silas being forced into stealing his new girlfriend’s car, and, well… Nancy’s got a lot of problems.

The biggest one I see is that Cesar and Ignacio got Shane. I want to believe that it will turn out just fine for the Botwins Newmans, but Shane is a murderer. People who kill people sometimes wind up dead themselves. My boyfriend asked, “Would they actually kill Shane?” during the preview scene where Nancy looks distraught after peering into a trunk, and I said I wasn’t sure. I don’t really think they will, but you really never know with this show.

I’m looking forward to next week. This season has finally gotten exciting. Last night was the first episode of the season where I wished Weeds aired for a full hour instead of 30 minutes. I usually have other stuff to do (a grad student’s day never ends, even at 10:30 PM!), but I would have been happy to camp out on the couch for another half an hour to see what happens to Shane.

‘Weeds’: Nathalie’s getting busted?

14 09 2010

I enjoyed Weeds last night; in fact, I find myself really having fun with this season. In the brief few moments that my boyfriend joined me in front of the DVR (I now have class on Monday nights, so I miss Weeds by about 15 minutes), he said, “That’s John Abruzzi.” And indeed, the chef that Andy was trying so hard to impress is Peter Stormare, who also played Abruzzi in the first two seasons of Prison Break. I never would have guessed with him wearing that chef hat! (But I suppose the way he wields a knife should have clued me in….)

Anyway. This episode was full of darkly humorous moments: Nancy’s quick thinking to cover the hash in the hotel dryer (except I doubt hash and poop smell the same—please, someone correct me if I’m wrong), Chef Abruzzi (what’s his name?) going after Andy’s finger with the knife just to promote him instead, crazy Shane asking the “mommy group” about their kegels, and the Boondock Saints-esque moment where the homeless guy bought it instead of the kitty.

All of the good news in this episode, though, was quickly overshadowed by the bad (in typical Weeds fashion). It looks like Shane’s “mommy group” buddies plan on ratting him and Nancy out to Child Protective Services, Doug’s in some serious trouble, and Andy and Nancy are looking busted with the cops catching them with trash bags full of trimmings at the end there. It seems dire for everyone except Silas, unless resident life realizes he’s not a college student and puts a stop to his dorm shower sexcapdes with the small boob brigade. But then, he deserved a break after last week’s naked reading session.

I’m glad, somewhat, that Esteban’s goons are on the right track at last, though with the death of the homeless guy who found Andy’s cell phone they may be even more delayed. Doug had better survive, because I’m just starting to like him again. And I wonder if the lesbian hippie biodiesel-drivers will get busted, too—I like them, even though they’re a far cry from Heylia and Conrad. In any case, this season is picking up nicely after a slow, danger-free start, and I’m looking forward to the rest of it. Any thoughts? Share ’em in the comments!

‘Weeds’: The Newmans’ New Jobs

31 08 2010

Did you really think Nancy, Silas, Shane, and Andy could live normal lives? (But then, we all know normal is relative anyway.) No… you probably didn’t. Because a show about a drug-dealin’ mom would lose its edge if her life could be normal. You gotta give the lady props for trying, though.

I think this episode was my favorite of the season so far. Everyone was a little off his or her game, and it made for some great comedy. Andy in the kitchen? Priceless. I think it’s funny that he’s flirting up a storm already, but then, Audra dumped him. (Even though her video says otherwise. And what were those hints about the minivan, hmmm? I sense minivan-seeking and half-burnt ID-finding in the near future.) He’s going to get his face shoved into the dishwasher if he’s not careful, though.

Silas as Mike Newman, looking very uncomfortable

Unhappy Mike | Image credit: fractured-simplicity.net

Silas’s situation was pretty uncomfortable, but if someone offered me $50 a page, I’d happily sit there in my lady skivvies and put on my best reading voice. No touching, no sex, just half-naked reading and lots of cash? Sure thing. No problem.

Shane seemed most in his element, which is strange for a teenage psychopath. I was nervous when he was left alone to babysit, but he was a good big brother to little Stevie. Sippin’ a latte, stealin’ a baby carriage—it was a nice day for our esteemed Pilar-killer.

And poor Nancy. First she has to clean the party bedroom, then she finds Mr. Golden Shower trussed up like a chubby chicken. And when she finally settles down for a nice drink, potential-one-night-stand guy discovers the truth about maid Nathalie (a French dance studio? Really?) when she gets reamed out by her new boss for drinking on the job. Oh well—at least she makes that awful wig look good.

But, really, it’s no wonder the suburban reefer queen couldn’t stay out of the business. Making hash in the hotel’s laundry room is a little risky—but then, when is Nancy not all about taking risks? I’m curious to see where the hash storyline goes, and also what happens to poor Doug. It’s great to see him again, less great that he had his head shoved into a fishtank. I suppose that’s better than the toilet, in any case.

How long do you all think these hospitality jobs will last? Will Nancy really set up shop in Seattle, even after all of her concerned mom pep talks? And when will Esteban finally come after her? (I suppose when he has some idea where she is, but come on. Let’s get some serious scary drama up in the Weeds house!) See you next week!