‘Weeds’: The Newmans’ New Jobs

31 08 2010

Did you really think Nancy, Silas, Shane, and Andy could live normal lives? (But then, we all know normal is relative anyway.) No… you probably didn’t. Because a show about a drug-dealin’ mom would lose its edge if her life could be normal. You gotta give the lady props for trying, though.

I think this episode was my favorite of the season so far. Everyone was a little off his or her game, and it made for some great comedy. Andy in the kitchen? Priceless. I think it’s funny that he’s flirting up a storm already, but then, Audra dumped him. (Even though her video says otherwise. And what were those hints about the minivan, hmmm? I sense minivan-seeking and half-burnt ID-finding in the near future.) He’s going to get his face shoved into the dishwasher if he’s not careful, though.

Silas as Mike Newman, looking very uncomfortable

Unhappy Mike | Image credit: fractured-simplicity.net

Silas’s situation was pretty uncomfortable, but if someone offered me $50 a page, I’d happily sit there in my lady skivvies and put on my best reading voice. No touching, no sex, just half-naked reading and lots of cash? Sure thing. No problem.

Shane seemed most in his element, which is strange for a teenage psychopath. I was nervous when he was left alone to babysit, but he was a good big brother to little Stevie. Sippin’ a latte, stealin’ a baby carriage—it was a nice day for our esteemed Pilar-killer.

And poor Nancy. First she has to clean the party bedroom, then she finds Mr. Golden Shower trussed up like a chubby chicken. And when she finally settles down for a nice drink, potential-one-night-stand guy discovers the truth about maid Nathalie (a French dance studio? Really?) when she gets reamed out by her new boss for drinking on the job. Oh well—at least she makes that awful wig look good.

But, really, it’s no wonder the suburban reefer queen couldn’t stay out of the business. Making hash in the hotel’s laundry room is a little risky—but then, when is Nancy not all about taking risks? I’m curious to see where the hash storyline goes, and also what happens to poor Doug. It’s great to see him again, less great that he had his head shoved into a fishtank. I suppose that’s better than the toilet, in any case.

How long do you all think these hospitality jobs will last? Will Nancy really set up shop in Seattle, even after all of her concerned mom pep talks? And when will Esteban finally come after her? (I suppose when he has some idea where she is, but come on. Let’s get some serious scary drama up in the Weeds house!) See you next week!


‘True Blood’: Eric Northman’s Revenge

30 08 2010

Wow, what a cliffhanger! I cannot believe that HBO is making us wait two whole weeks for the finale. I mean, Labor Day equals a much-needed three-day weekend, but seriously?

The good news is that a lot of this season’s scattered plot lines are coming together nicely. We all knew that Sookie would be rescued from the Fangtasia basement/dungeon at some point, somehow, by someone, but if you’re like me you thought it would be Bill. Yvetta’s return was exciting, and I loved seeing her turn on Pam and Eric like that! Fascinating and hilarious. Even more so was Pam snacking on Ginger (finally), paying homage to all the times we’ve had to hear that piercing scream.

Eric’s big plan was pretty obvious from the start. Even after he confessed to killing Talbot and explained why (“My, oh, my. To lose the one man I ever loved because you miss your Mommy and Daddy, well that is a kick in the pants,” said Russell), he was able to pander to the king’s inner narcissist by offering him the one thing every vampire wants. Russell’s critical weakness is his desire for ultimate power, and Sookie’s faerie blood gives vampires the ability to daywalk for short periods, as evidenced by Bill’s occasional consumption. But the trick was to convince Russell it was permanent—and Eric pulled that off, with Bill’s help. But now, we have three major characters with fates hanging in the balance: Eric and Russell, who are cuffed together in the sunlight, and Sookie, who’s been drained pretty damn dry. I’m fairly certain Russell will die and Sookie will live, but the fate of Sheriff Eric Northman is uncertain. Will he go down with his nemesis and meet the true death? Or, will Bill (after saving Sookie) be the hero? We have to wait two damn weeks to find out. Thanks, HBO. Thanks.

Eric and Russell

Eric and Russell, in the final scenes.

I was pleasantly surprised by Holly’s Wiccan ritual. She didn’t summon the elements or Father Sky (along with Mother Earth), but she used a ritual dagger, drew a circle of power, and said “blessed be” a whole lot. It still wasn’t perfect—to my knowledge, Wiccans don’t use blood in ritual (“and it harm none…”)—but she did a surprising amount of things right. Kudos, Alan Ball and co., for doing your homework and not totally screwing up the religious aspect, while still keeping with True Blood land’s supernaturalness. My boyfriends Holly is the next Big Bad (kind of a Maryann 2.0), and she’s setting Arlene up as a sacrifice, but if they make the Wiccan evil I’ll be pretty upset.

I’m pretty convinced Arlene’s going to die in the finale (it could happen next season, too), possibly by another induced miscarriage or by some action of the evil baby itself, but I’m still begging the gods of TV to not let it happen. Terry’s reaction to her almost losing the baby was heartbreaking (it’s not even his baby!), and I don’t want to see what would happen if he lost her, too.

(This is the end of the Arlene Death Theories. Carry on.)

Hoyt and Jessica are great, but learning that Summer was working with Mrs. Fortenberry (I couldn’t remember if Jessica killed her in season 2—guess not!) to split them up was a complete surprise. Summer was too happy and perky to be honest. I doubt we’ll get much more out of them this season, but it’ll be interesting next year.

Oh, Jason Jason Jason. I adore you, but being in love with a werepanther who can convince you to call off the ultra-important raid on HotShot is not wise. Jason’s a mess, between Crystal’s manipulation, Tara’s anger, and finding out that the brat high schooler trying to break his record is being supplied with V by the school.

That Tara/Sam reunion? Hot, but not unexpected. They’re both all kind of screwed up, Sam from his murder-memories and Tara from learning the truth, but hopefully this will be cathartic for them both. Tara’s conversation with Andy was really well done, and it showed another side—a non-drunken, non-wannabe action hero side—of him. There must be something else behind Sam’s freakout. The boyfriend thinks Holly did it. I still maintain that Holly’s cool. We’ll see who’s right. (It’s probably him. I’m biased.) Looks like Tommy’s certainly bringing the bad news, too.

I hate that Lafayette kicked Jesus out, but someone in this house nearly crapped himself when Jesus got that post-V demon head thing going on. And what the fuck was with the creepy dolls? That was like… almost clown levels of creepy. And I don’t say that lightly. I hope those two make up, in any case.

My biggest question is still whether or not Eric will survive September 12th’s finale. I’m also excited to learn more about Sookie’s fae heritage, as the Postmortem implied. What are you all still wondering about, as the end of season three approaches?

And stay tuned for a Super Awesome Blog Giveaway. Details are coming shortly!

‘Big Brother’: Lane’s nominations

30 08 2010

This post contains spoilers.

I love love love that Lane didn’t want to win HOH, and I love that he won it anyway because Enzo sucks so hard at competitions. And I love, too, that the HOH win clued the other houseguests into the reality of Lane’s situation: He doesn’t need the money. Whether or not this will cause any drama with Britney is still up in the air, but Big Brother After Dark has been really, really boring since Matt and Brendon left so I’d be happy if it did.

Last night’s episode was mostly focused on who was going to be the pawn, Britney or a Brigade member. Lane obviously put up Ragan, who now has to fight his skinny butt off to win POV. But Lane went back and forth for the vast majority of the episode, finally settling on Enzo over Britney for nominee #2. (There’s always the backdoor option, though!)

However, I’ve heard… SPOILER ALERT. SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST IF YOU WANT TO WAIT UNTIL WEDNESDAY… that Enzo wins it, so we’ll certainly see Britney or Hayden on the block. I hope beyond hope that Hayden goes up. Lane said he’d never put up Hayden, but he also said that he wouldn’t put up a Brigade member in the first place, so it’s still possible he’ll go back on his word. It also shouldn’t matter too much—I’m 99% sure that, without a POV win, Ragan’s outta there.

Britney and Hayden talking with hand puppets

Britney and Hayden talking with hand puppets | Image credit: Big Brother Live Online

Letting slip his net worth wasn’t Lane’s only mistake this weekend; that Pandora’s Box sure was a doozy! He only made $90 (probably more like $20 after taxes!) for three major punishments. We saw the first last night—the houseguests now lack silverware and cups—and Big Brother Live Online reports that a second punishment is that they have to speak using handpuppets. (Still no word on the third punishment—clue me in if you know!) Lane would have been better off if he turned down temptation; come on, how likely is it that you’d pull the winning envelope? I bet there was one envelope with the large prize, and the rest only had tiny amounts (that $0.17 one was a killer).

Who do you think Lane will name as the replacement nominee? I hope it’s not Britney; she’s the only one I really want to win. I like Lane, but I don’t want him to win if he’s already loaded. Hayden is a conceited, selfish idiot, Ragan is mean and whiny (I wish I still liked him, but I don’t), and Enzo is one of the worst competitors ever. However, he has a tiny baby, so I’d be okay with him scoring the grand prize. He could sure use it. But Miss Britney Haynes still has my vote.

And, finally: I hope Brendon and Rachel are happy together in the Jury House!

Jess’s Fall TV: What you can expect to read about.

27 08 2010

Fall Leaves photoMy TV schedule changes with the leaves. I will continue to blog Weeds, True Blood, and Big Brother until their respective finales, but this fall, I’ll be watching:

America’s Next Top Model, CW, Wednesdays at 8. Premiere: Sept. 8. I’ll be DVRing this one once Survivor starts, but I should still be able to blog about it.

New day! After 9 years of airing on Thursdays, Survivor (CBS) is moving to Wednesdays at 8. Premiere: Sept. 15; this season takes place in Nicaragua. This show is basically why I started a TV blog, so you can expect plenty of coverage.

Grey’s Anatomy, ABC, Thursdays at 9. Premiere: Sept. 23.

Private Practice, ABC, Thursdays at 10. Premiere: Sept. 23.
(GA and PP are so related that I may combine posts; we’ll see how it goes. I am taking two classes and working full time this fall.)

Dexter, Showtime, Sundays at 9. Premiere: Sept. 26.

The Walking Dead, AMC. Premieres on Halloween—Sunday, Oct. 31, at 9. It conflicts with Dexter, so the DVR will be getting some action.


-I’m behind on Gossip Girl, so although it premieres on Monday, Sept. 13 (CW, 9 PM), I probably will not be able to cover it. Unless I catch up. Hmm….

House starts on Monday, Sept. 20 (8 PM, Fox), but I’m a few episodes behind still. We’ll see.

-I’m going to give Shit My Dad Says a try, but I don’t know if I’ll blog about it. If not, I’ll at least give you my initial reaction and review. Premiere: Thursday, Sept. 23, 8:30 PM. (CBS).

-I’m still behind on The Office and 30 Rock, but they both start on Thursday, Sept. 23 on NBC.

The Amazing Race (CBS, Sundays, 8:30) premieres on Sept. 26, but I’m not sure yet if I’ll blog about it.

Is there anything else you want covered? Check out EW‘s Fall Cheat Sheet for a full list of premiere dates.

‘Big Brother’: Double Eviction Insanity (now with HOH spoilers)

27 08 2010

Here’s a quick summary of last night’s live Double Eviction:
Brendon Villegas1. Matt and Enzo were on the block, and Matt was unanimously evicted.
2. The new HOH competition was held, and Hayden beat Brendon by just a hair.
3. Hayden nominated Brendon and Ragan for eviction.
4. All that practicing we saw during Big Brother After Dark paid off—Ragan won POV, and, unsurprisingly, removed himself from the block. (Brendon’s plea was pretty funny, though: “I forgot to tie my shoes…and that’s why I lost.” When you know it’s a lost cause, it’s best to have some fun with it.)
5. Hayden nominated Britney as the replacement nominee.
6. In a second unanimous vote, Brendon was evicted.

And then there were five: Hayden, Enzo, Lane, Britney, and Ragan. I won’t miss Matt the liar, but I was rooting for Brendon and I’m sad that he’s gone… but happy that he gets to see Rachel. Hopefully she’s less dramatic in the Jury House; if not, Matt’s in for some rough times.

It looks pretty open-and-shut for the remaining houseguests: Hayden, Lane, and Enzo have the numbers. Britney might get support from Lane, but he did say his loyalty lies with the Brigade. Ragan will have to fight hard to survive if he doesn’t win HOH on Sunday. Best case scenario, Britney or Ragan wins HOH and puts up Enzo and Hayden, with Lane as a backdoor option (although Britney might put up Ragan over Lane, even though it would be a bad move for her). I know a lot of people are rooting for the Brigade, but they only got so far because the rest of the house was far too unobservant for far too long. They’re exposed now, but it’s too late. If someone in the house had been a little smarter, they would have been out—there’s very little brainpower there, and despite all the brawn, very few wins. The Brigade has been the laziest, most do-nothing alliance I’ve ever seen, and I don’t think they deserve to be rewarded for it.

All of my eggs are in Britney’s basket now—as the last lady left, and such an underdog at that, she just has to win. But, ultimately, I have no control and I’ve enjoyed this season. Regardless of who takes home the half-mil, I’ll be back next summer.

See you next week! If I have any updates before Sunday, I’ll post some spoilers.

I’ve found out who wins HOH. Don’t read on if you don’t want to be spoiled.

According to TVSquad, the new HOH is Lane. So, now we have to wonder what he’ll do. Will he put up his friend (and love interest) Britney alongside Ragan? Or will he turn on his Brigade buddies? I’m hoping for the latter, but we’ll see.

‘Big Brother’: Britney’s replacement nominee

24 08 2010

This entire post (it’s short) is one spoiler after another. Don’t read further if you don’t want to know.

I watched Big Brother After Dark for the first time last night, and it was kind of boring (it was late and I fell asleep after awhile), but Matt’s conversation with Hayden was pretty telling.

It seems that Brendon won Power of Veto this week (and for some reason, his head is shaved while Enzo is wearing a ridiculous penguin suit). I said earlier that winning POV was the only way Brendon would survive the week, and the man pulled through! He’s much stronger now without Rachel, since he’s fighting for both of them (I love how he calls her “my girlfriend”) and she’s not causing a whirlwind of drama around them. I hope he pulls through and wins the whole thing, because he was such an underdog.

In any case, it seems Matt and Ragan have had some sort of fight (I think it’s possible that Matt campaigned against Ragan after Brendon won the POV, and Ragan found out) and Matt is up on the block as Britney’s replacement nominee. This will ensure that either Matt or Enzo goes home, effectively splitting the Brigade. Huzzah!

Big Brother is going to be really interesting from here on out. I’m going to take my chances and assume that Matt goes home this week, since no one can really trust him and they’re starting to figure that out. That will leave Britney, Ragan, Brendon, Enzo, Hayden, and Lane. If Brendon aligns with Hayden and Enzo and Ragan and Britney stick it out together, Lane will be the one straddling two alliances (Britney and the Brigade) instead of Matt, putting him in some danger. But really, we’re at a point where no one is safe. There are a lot of secrets, but with only six people it’s hard to keep them secret.

I’m really excited for Wednesday and Thursday. I never do mid-week posts like this, so that should tell you just how wrapped up in this season I am. I’m hoping that either Brendon or Britney wins it all; they’re my faves.

‘Weeds’: The New Nancy—just call her Nathalie Newman

24 08 2010

Nancy (or, should I say, Nathalie) is looking a little scared and wide-eyed these days, like a really pretty deer caught in the headlights. I guess I would too, if I had one kid who had killed someone, one kid without an American birth certificate, and one kid who wanted to strike out on his own. But she’s managing to keep the Botwin clan together, while Esteban—who I still can’t figure out—covers for her down in Mexico.

Esteban must know that one of the Botwins killed Pilar. Even if Shane just knocked her out and the pool cover drowned her (though all the blood would indicate death by bludgeoning), Nancy’s family is solely responsible. But I can’t decide why, exactly, he’s not going after them, or sending one of his minions, or something. Chances are, it’s just too soon for the writers to send someone after Nancy; they want to let her have some fun escapades (haha, escape-capades) first. Or, Esteban is happy Pilar is dead and wants Nancy to get away with it. That’s always a possibility, though I’m sure he wants his kid back.

Stevie Ray

Stevie Ray's ID photo face | Image credit: http://fractured-simplicity.net

There were some hilarious scenes and lines in this episode. I loved when Nancy couldn’t muster up much punishment for Shane besides whacking him a few times and telling him he’s too young to be murdering people (“I’m the mother, I decide who gets clubbed!”). My favorite, though, was little Stevie Ray’s face when they were all taking their new ID photos. Also great was Andy’s set of “rules of the road”—and his explanation for why they can’t go to Alaska (I miss Zooey Deschanel!).

Nancy wants the “Newmans”—Nathalie, Randy (Andy), Mike (Silas), Shawn (Shane), and little Avi (Stevie Ray)—to settle down and live a normal life, but Shane’s pleas to head to Philadelphia are ignored and the family is turned away at the Canadian border because the littlest Botwin (or is he a Reyes?) doesn’t have a birth certificate. Refusing to accept defeat, they continue on and burn all their old IDs, but they leave the smoldering heap in flames in a garbage can—someone could certainly find a half-burned driver’s license later this season, don’t you think?

I’m really enjoying this season of Weeds so far, but as usual, I’d like them to pick up the pace a bit. There are only a handful of 30-minute episodes per season, and after waiting so long for these new ones, I’d like the show to charge forward boldly and get me on the edge of my seat ASAP.