The Bachelorette: Meetin’ the Families

13 07 2010

I remain amazed at how well Ali can have relationships—seemingly real, true, honest, caring relationships—with four guys at once. It’s the ultimate compartmentalization. My boyfriend thinks it’s a little trashy, but I feel like that’s what the girl is there for. Let her have her transcontinental love adventure.

Since we’re down to so few guys, let’s look at the hometown visits one by one.

Roberto’s family was basically what I expected. The women were a little blonder than I thought they might be, but that’s really it. He was cute in his baseball uniform, and his dad’s quite a bruiser. But dude, he’s still so boring. He makes me want to fall asleep. I really hope Ali doesn’t end up with him, but ultimately it’s her call—if she wants to live out her days in Yawnsville, she can. She seems to have fun with him, so that’s good.

Chris is still by far my 100% favorite. If I wasn’t overwhelmingly happy in my own relationship (don’t be mad, honey), I’d want him for myself! His family is so close and genuine, even the sisters-in-law, and his father’s talk with Ali legit made me tear up. And I hardly cry. Even onions have trouble getting me to cry. The Chris-and-Ali banter on the porch made me so happy, and Chris truly glows when Ali is around. I want them to get married and have lots of Massachusetts babies.

Kirk’s dad’s basement was a little freaky, but I was happy to see Ali rise to the occasion. She had a great conversation with the man despite the multitude of taxidermied animals. Can we say “overkill”? (Har har. I bet I’m not the first one to make that horrid joke today.)

And Frank’s family was great too, but his insecurity is starting to get to me. I know marriage is a huge, life-altering decision, but if it freaks you out so much, why did you come on The Bachelorette? It looks like he’s gonna tuck his tail between his legs and run away from Ali and Tahiti next week, though.

The elimination, while sad, was predictable. I knew it would be either Kirk or Frank, and Kirk’s lack of a solid relationship history really worked against him. It’s hard to be prepared for marriage if you’ve never had a long-term relationship before, and Ali knows that. Kirk might not, and I wouldn’t want to marry him either. Sure, some marriages work right out of the gate—plenty of people get arranged marriages, even today. But in modern American society, most of us practice at love and relationships beginning in high school (if not earlier). Kirk probably had a lot of short-term experience, but that doesn’t necessarily bode well for a successful marriage. It doesn’t mean he and Ali wouldn’t have worked, but it was just too risky for her.

Ultimately, though, I think keeping Frank was the bigger risk. We’ll see next week….

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