The Bachelorette: Whittling Away

6 07 2010

Before I go into Ali and her suitors, I have to give a big WTF to the producers for putting that Jake/Vienna drivel on for a whole half hour. I did not see that season of The Bachelor (or any season, really—I like watching a bunch of guys striving for one woman much more than watching a bunch of girls falling all over each other for one guy… maybe it’s a feminism thing), so I have no emotional attachment to either of them, but geez. I hate it, but after watching the whole damn conversation I have to side with Jake. Yeah, he could be a douche and a poser, he could just be acting, but at least he approached the conversation with a level head and stuck to his story. Vienna was all over the place, and I had almost no sympathy for her. I’m sure that she’s being honest about Jake’s coldness, but that sort of thing belongs behind closed doors, not all over the tabloids when your fiance is out of town. And also, she says she wants to go back to Florida and one of the reasons she hates Jake is that he won’t let her, but as soon as they’re broken up, she gets a job in LA? Her story doesn’t add up for me at all. I believe that Jake likely got wrapped up in the show business thing and stopped caring about her, but her behavior was just ridiculous. I’d get angry if my partner interrupted me every two seconds too.

My advice: Stay classy, ladies.

Now, on to little miss Ali. I bet she’s glad Jake didn’t take her back now! She seems much cooler than Vienna (and if someone who saw their episode of The Bachelor cares to weigh in about how the two of them acted before, that’d be awesome), and I’m glad she got her own soul-searching televised love adventure.

These comments are beginning to get on my nerves: “I think I might be falling for Ali,” “I’m beginning to have strong feelings for Ali,” etc. They all say it, and I really want someone to just straight-up admit that he loves her. Roberto’s “strong feelings” are the worst, in my opinion. What does that even mean? If a guy I’d been dating for however long this season has been on for only told me he had “strong feelings” and expected me to want to marry him, I’d laugh in his face.

Of the guys left, Chris is by far my favorite. I’m really, really glad that he opened up to Ali this week and convinced her that he wanted to be there, because my heart was pounding at Ali’s insecurity when their date started. And he was so hilariously cautious on that moped!

The one I’m still not sure about is Kirk. I think part of Ali’s feelings for him are grounded in sympathy, and he might be playing it up a bit. I’m not entirely convinced he’s ready to settle down.

Roberto is a sexy yawnfest. That’s all I got. He opens his mouth, I yawn. Boring boring boring. But the preview of his family visit looks dramatic, what with his dad basically wondering if Ali is good enough for him, so yay for that. I hate drama in my own life, but watching other peoples’ drama unfold on reality TV is awesome.

My boyfriend was convinced that Ali would send Frank home, but I think she likes the danger and instability of his feelings. It’s exciting for her. And it looks like he’ll either leave (or try to) next week anyway. I’m sad that my class is starting, but I’ll be hittin’ the DVR when I get home.

And poor Ty. I saw it coming, even though I tried to ignore it. As soon as she gave Frank a rose, I knew the divorced guy would be cut loose. Didn’t he and his ex-wife split only about three months before he came on the show? Even if he thinks he’s ready, it was a risk Ali just wasn’t willing to take. Compounded with his traditional ideas and family, she was just too afraid she’d wind up unhappy and trapped. But their goodbye was touching, and I was sorry to see him go.

What’s up for Ali next week? Looks like lots of awesome mayhem. My hope for the season is that Ali picks Chris. Maybe his Massachusetts family will win her over. If she goes for the sexy bore, well… I hope she’s happy. Somehow I don’t see Kirk and Frank making it to the end, but who knows?

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